qualityblog

This coming weekend is an autocross that I am going to participate in. If you are unfamiliar with autocrosses, they are essentially time trials that are held in parking lots. You have to avoid cones and drive as smoothly and quickly as possible to get around the course in the shortest amount of time. For this reason, I picked up some new car accessories. The first is a new header for my ride. I am hoping that this not only gives me better horsepower, but also helps my car sound a little meaner. Then I went out and found some spoilers, which I am still debating. A spoiler on the back of my car would help with the downforce, but I have to question whether or not I would be going fast enough to get any benefit. I guess that it couldn’t really hurt though, because I have seen other cars out there with wings on and they do fairly well. It’s not like I’m going to be putting Jeep parts on my racing car (though I would if I were into rock crawling and off roading), but I have also done some small suspension mods that should help my car to turn easier. Quite frankly, I wish that my car handled more like an RC car than it does, but I can’t complain too much because it does all right for itself, despite the crappy all-season tires that are currently on there. If I could have one accessory though, it would be to have roof mounted paintball guns. Why, you ask? Well, for one thing, it would just look cool, and for another, it would be a fun distraction for whoever was to ride shotgun with me. The autocross takes place this Sunday, which is an odd day I think, but hopefully the weather is okay and I do better than the others at the track.

Man oh man, I do stuff that is bad for the environment all the time. Whatever the opposite of green is, that’s what I am. I make certain that everything I do leaves a big, black hole of a carbon footprint so that I leave my mark wherever I go. On the paintball field, I make sure to use only CFC-enriched bottles of CO2 so that every shot I get off with my paint ball guns really sticks it to Mother Earth. And I don’t even mess around with electric RC airplanes, I go straight for the jugular and fill my RC drift cars with the highest grade of gasoline I can find and then rev them all day long so that I use the most fuel per minute spent of enjoyment. And I never, ever eat farmed cavier from the states. I always make sure that mine is flown, or shipped into the country so that I know I have wasted precious fuel getting those fish eggs for my lavish parties. And when I buy Dodge Dakota parts, they certainly aren’t the ones that give me better fuel mileage. I like superchargers, big exhaust pipes and anything that can give me more power at the expense of my fuel consumption. And let’s not forget about cheap motorcycle helmets. I haven’t forgotten you either. You see, when I buy a cheap helmet, I make sure that it is imported so that, like the caviar, I know that it has been shipped to me and probably made from the worst petroleum based products out there. That’s what I do. How about you?

The last time I stayed up all night, I was working. You see, back in the summer of 2005 I worked for a window company. They had a 24 hour operation and I was on third shift. I took the position because it paid more, and I had to make me some money to purchase a car. I started work at 11 at night and went until seven in the morning. My first night on the job I remember went by really fast, and I had no trouble staying awake, as I was excited about the job. I also recall that that was the shortest period I ever had between work and not work. I got off at seven in the morning and went straight home and crashed. I woke up at around seven that evening and had approximately three hours before I had to go to work again. Turns out that it wasn’t that fun. But it didn’t really matter because I had a job and was getting paid and could finally get a car that would last me a long time.

Working there was hard though. You had to wear steel-toe shoes and always had to have ear plugs in. It was much like a normal work day though, except that it took place in the dark. That job also made me work harder than I ever had to before. I was on the loading team and all night was spent loading up a truck to deliver the windows. This is as easy as say, loading a truck full of paintball gun packages where the boxes are all about the same size. The windows had to be loaded just so, so that the glass from one was never touched by the frame on another. You could only have frame to frame contact. This meant that you had to load the big windows first. Some of these were so big that I had to have help moving them from one side of the factory to the other. I could have sure used Nissan Titan accessories then. You also had to watch out for your head sometimes because the big windows can get away from you and not even cheap motorcycle helmets would help you in that instance because they are so heavy that they would crush you.

What you had to do was strap the windows down securely to the power jack and then you could move them. And the power jacks were tricky little things. You had to feed the power in really gently at first because they took off like a BMW turbo charger if you weren’t careful. And sometimes you would get almost finished with an entire truck only to find that you were missing a window or two. In this case, it would have been really handy to have an RC airplane with a camera attached to it because the warehouse was so huge that you had to spend like five minutes just driving around to find what you were looking for. The nice thing was that after all was said and done, I never broke a single window and I made enough money to afford my own car and never had to work another night shift again.

Oh man, this is a hard one because there are so many cute baby animals. I mean you have puppies, kittens, rabbits, piglets and so many more. If I had to choose though I would say that the cutest is a panda hamster. I have owned a panda hamster before and sure, they aren’t all that deliciously adorable when the firs pop out (what is?) but they do retain the same look for their whole lives. Cats and dogs grow up and become less cute. Hamsters on the other hand are always going to look pretty much the same. This means that they will remain cute for as long as they are alive. And when it comes to cute, there is no better way to gain cuteness than to dress an animal up. Remember in The Simpsons when Bart put a hamster into the awesome RC planes? That was genius because he was all dressed up to look just like a pilot. And the same thing applies to sailor suits. If you dress any animal up in a sailor suit, and put it on a new RC boat, it will make the best greeting or Christmas card ever. Of course, this works so much better when the animal is a baby. You could even make custom Cadillac parts or clay poker chip sets with the pictures of the cute baby hamster on it. I guarantee that if you did that, you would be the talk of the town in no time.

So the paintball guns worked out just fine for me this past weekend. However, I was let down by my team once again. On Saturday, I ended up going out to the local paintball field and mixing it up with the team who humiliated me so much last time. But I came prepared. I had my two new guns, my mask and the camouflage outfit that I had just gotten. I was invisible when in the trees – at least to the other team. It only took a little while before I had them in my crosshairs and was prepared to fire. It turns out that I shouldn’t have told my teammates where I was going though, because one of them came right up behind me and gave away my position. Well, I had to react like a cat and change direction like an RC plane. I got myself the heck out of there and got off a couple of shots before being hit in the leg.

The next game I ran off without telling my teammates where I was going and found that to be a much better solution. I was able to use my new gear to get some great shots off and hit some of the other guys out there. It felt better than caviar is expensive. I am completely happy with my purchases and know that the next time out will be even better.

In anticipation of my paintball rematch this weekend, I went out and bought myself some Angel paintball guns. I read some reviews and figured that they were the way to go. I also picked up a new camo colored mask and some gloves. I am fairly sure that I can now hide out in the trees and be easy to miss. This will enable me to get the drop on anyone who may come by. This is a big gamble though as well. It’s like throwing in my whole poker chips set just to see what the other guy has. Hopefully, he doesn’t have anything and I can totally trample the other team under my foot like how an ant gets squished underneath Mercedes Benz wheels. Actually, I just hope I don’t get embarrassed is all. Wish me luck.

This is an interesting question and one that I've never stopped to consider before. I would have to say, for the time being anyway, that I would identify the most with Homer Simpson. Sure, he has his foibles but that is what makes him a fully fledged character. He is almost human. He will usually say something or do something to get him in trouble (usually with Marge) and he has to figure out how to make amends. Plus, I’m yellow in color…ok so that isn’t true, but I am a big guy. Whether he is down at Moe’s or throwing some clay poker chips into a pot with his buddies, he has fun and lives a very rich and full life. He has kids and goes to church and would probably love to play with electric RC cars as well. Plus, I can really identify with him because he and I would never really eat cavier, but might try it if we were pretending to be high class socialites to stay admitted at a very expensive country club.

I have come up with a plan to get back at the ones who got me good with their paintball guns. First off, I have to get some new paintball gun packages. This way, I can stay ahead of the curve when it comes to offensive power. Then I need a new mask and some goggles, because my other pair is all full of paint from them shooting me up. Next I need a new set of people to work with. Seriously, the other guys out there don’t know how to play the game at all. To borrow from Homer Simpson, “They are the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked. They just plain suck.” And I only mean that in the best possible way. I would love to tell you that my real plan is to go out and get some RC planes to attach spy cameras to, but I just don’t think that that would pan out over the long term. Maybe if I just study up on some tactical and flanking maneuvers I would be able to lay waste to the other team. And if that doesn’t work, then maybe a pink motorcycle helmet attached to a pole will distract them enough for me to sneak up and pop some of them. I’ll report back later this week.

Well I went back to the paintball field today and got totally annihilated. Not only was my team wiped out, but I was made quite the fool once again and was pasted from all sides. Now I have bruises and developing welts all over my body and it hurts to move. Well, its all in fun, so as soon as I heal up, I’ll be right back out there with my new Spyder paintball guns to finally get back at the other team. I suppose that if I don’t come back, you should tell my wife and kids that I love them and that they can split the poker chip sets. I will leave little Jimmy my high powered RC car collection and little Margie can have the air hockey table. And my loving wife, she can keep the patio set so all can sit in comfort while remembering me. Of course that is all just a bunch of hooey since paintball is fun and safe. J

RC planes are a good way to get started in the radio controlled arena. Now, I’m not saying that you have to go out and buy the best of the best right away because it takes skill to actually fly one of these things. If you are planning on purchasing your first RC airplane, the best plan of action would probably be to make sure that the plane is made of an easily repairable material and that it doesn’t cost an arm and a leg. This way, if – and when – you crash it, you won’t be out a ton of cash and will still be able to enjoy the hobby. However, if you are like me, then the first time out you will also want to have a couple of good cheap motorcycle helmets around just as a precaution, because when those plane hit, they don’t mess around!

I was sitting outside today and wondering what I should do. It was then that I figured that I needed a new patio set. My current set up consists of a few plastic chairs and a very basic card table – so not what you would call Fifth Avenue. I quickly jumped onto the internet and found a great site that sold everything I needed. In no time flat I had the quality patio chairs and umbrella so that my face wouldn’t get burned anymore. I then figured that as long as I was living the good life with my patio furniture that I would start to live it up with my food as well. I quickly purchased some caviar and basked on my newly remade patio. Now whenever I sit outside and read a book or the paper, I can do it in comfort and style.

I just got a great deal on Mustang lights from My Hot Mustang. I have heard from others that they have a great selection and decent prices, so I checked them out and came away pleasantly surprised. I just picked up a pair of black headlights with amber corners for my dad’s black Mustang. He is going to be so surprised come father’s day. (Don’t forget about that day people). I can’t wait to have him open that package and see the awesome lights I got for him. He has been dropping hints as of late, and his stock lights are all yellow and foggy. One of them is even cracked. All he needs now to complete the look is to pick out one of the cool looking car spoilers that are out there. Then his Stang will really stand out.

Well, I finally did it. I went out and got myself a nitro RC car. And when I say nitro, I mean nitro. This thing is fast. Its one of those that runs on gasoline and has a full off road suspension. I also went ahead and bought a new set of graphics for it and some studded tires. The next thing I am going to try and fashion is a set of headlights so that the little guy can go off roading at night. I’m not sure how much light they will throw out, but I do know that if I can get these to work they will be great. I’m thinking about going with a setup that looks a lot like how WRC cars used to look with a big add-on on the front of the vehicle and like 4 or five little LED lights to give my car a mean look and better night vision.

So I’ve got this friend who drives a Jeep Wrangler. Now, I’m not much of an off road guy, but he is always going on and on about the new Jeep Wrangler accessories or the Jeep Wrangler parts that he just got for his vehicle. Now, not only do I know nothing about off roading, but I also know nothing about installing these Jeep Wrangler accessories. And yet, he is always trying to get me to help him out. I’m not sure what to do with this. I suppose I could always go over there and fake an injury – like just show up in a neck brace or something – but that might be kinda hard to keep up. I mean, I would like to help him out, but I’m just not that mechanically inclined. He tells me that the latest Jeep Wrangler parts he picked up will help his vehicle be better both on and off road. Something about a new suspension or something. That could be anything really. There are a ton of Jeep Wrangler parts on the Internet and suspension could mean anything from a lift kit to an air ride, but I guess I will have to wait and see when I go over there.

One of the most common complaints about the Ford Mustang is that it just doesn’t handle as well as it could or should. Luckily the Internet has great products to offer when it comes to upgrading the Mustang suspension. The biggest complaint from most drivers comes from the fact that the car still uses a solid rear axle instead of an independent suspension. What this means is that both of the wheels are actually connected by a large bar and that means that the car doesn’t turn or ride as well as it could. This problem can be corrected with new suspension components like sway bars and suspension systems.

Sway bars are designed to connect the front and rear suspension to each other. Because your car already has a bar connecting the rear suspension together, a larger front and rear sway bar will help to reduce the body roll and stiffen the entire chassis. This, in turn, will improve the turn in of the Mustang and help to induce a more neutral handling characteristic. Your car can be fitted with adjustable sway bars as well so that when you go to the track you can set up your ride for more understeer or oversteer depending on how you like your car to feel.

Probably the best upgrade though, is a completely new Mustang suspension kit. These suspension systems will come ready to be installed and feature the struts and the springs in one package. These will do a couple of things for your car. The first is that it will drop the car anywhere from one and a half to a full two and a quarter inches. The second is that a full suspension system will help to improve the handling immensely. So not only will your Mustang look much more aggressive with a whole new suspension, it will handle much more aggressively on the street and the track.